What is It REALLY all about?

We often hear the phrase, “That’s what it’s all about” in reference to honor, taking care of our families, winning, doing the best we can, or whatever – even in songs: “You do the hokey pokey, and you turn yourself around, that’s what it’s all about.”  And when we say or hear “That’s what it’s all about,” we understand that “It” probably isn’t ALL about winning, or the hokey pokey (or whatever.) That said, is it reasonable to ask: “What is ‘It’ really ‘ALL’ about?”  Wise men and women have indeed given this question a lot of thought over the millennia.

The Holy Grail in moral philosophy is a single principle that serves as a touchstone for resolving all moral dilemmas, and thereby offering us a glimpse into that elusive ‘meaning of life.’  Classical philosophers (St Augustine, Cicero, St Thomas, among others) called this single principle the “Summum Bonum” or the highest good, that which is good in and of itself, contains all other goods, and from which all other goods are derived.   The Summum Bonum is the purpose, the goal, the description of the life best lived.   In their quest for this first principle, different philosophers and religious thinkers have arrived at various versions of what they believed to be the Summum Bonum.    

Over the years, I’ve made a list of different visions of this source principle I’ve encountered in my reading and studies.    This is where my list stands today, and I offer it as a simple man’s necessarily over-simplification of some very nuanced ideas, which I can only pretend to understand. But here is what I’ve found:

     Excellence/Fulfillment/Wisdom – Aristotle

     Moral Duty – Immanuel Kant

     Quality – Robert Pirsig (author of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance)

     Power (properly applied) – Frederick Nietzsche/Robert Adler 

     Pleasure (broadly conceived)– Sigmund Freud  

     Enlightenment – Buddha

    The moment (suspending rationality) - Zen Buddhism

    Dignity/Honor – The Stoics

     The greatest Happiness for the Greatest Number – Jeremy Bentham/John Stuart Mill

     Authentic and passionate commitment – Albert Camus, Martin Heidegger

     Don’t Worry. Be Happy – Meher Baba

     Self-Actualization – Abraham Mazlow

     Self-Actualization thru one’s work – Karl Marx

     Beauty -  James Joyce, Friedrich Schiller

     Kindness/compassion/love - Dalai Lama, Buddha, Christ

You’ll note that some of the ‘first principles’ on this list are oriented toward self-development, while others are oriented more toward how we relate and interact with others.    There is clearly much overlap in these different approaches, but there are also clearly values, life choices and life-styles unique to each.  Each speaks to a different perspective on what makes us human and what human excellence looks like.

Some will argue that God has to be on this list, since a relationship with God or Christ or another religious leader is the Summum Bonum in most religious traditions.  I agree, but I choose to separate matters of faith from matters of the mind and reason.  For the theist, the Summum Bonum is necessarily a reflection of God’s will; for the atheist or agnostic, it is arrived at through reason and empirical observation.  I contend that these two perspectives are not mutually exclusive.

Probably my favorite interpretation of ‘what It’s all about’ is from the Roman poet Lucretius.   In his  search for the key to the life well lived, he studied all of the great thinkers and philosophers of his era, and distilled what he learned into two maxims:  “It is better to love than to hate,” and “Live life fully, even if imperfectly.”

For many of us, this may be simply a theoretical question of little ‘practical’ import.  For others, and for the individuals and traditions associated with the different first principles listed above, this is a life-defining, existential question:   What is the one most important value I stand for, live for, strive for, and am willing to die for?  Why am I here?  It is a question that many of us consider more and more as we get older.  But had you asked me that question as a young man, I would have responded with a wry smile, “What’s it all about?  That’s easy:  Eat. F$@#. Skydive!”

Hmmm….. Maybe “Having Fun” also needs to be on that list.  You know: “You do the hokey pokey, and you turn yourself around, that’s what it’s all about.”  :) 

Note: This list of different interpretations of the ultimate good reminded me of the list of different religions’ versions of the Golden Rule  . Or more amusingly, the list of different religions’ interpretations of Shit happens . (click hotlinks)

In Praise of Mediocrity

Mediocre Marathon Runners

I use this title partly in jest.   ‘Mediocrity’ is, almost by definition, that which is not ‘praiseworthy.’  And yet in my comments that follow, I hope to point out that what appears to us as mediocre does not automatically warrant derision or embarrassment.  There is an important place for mediocrity in this world, and often there is much to be celebrated in the mediocre. And I’m proud of my contributions to that great sea of mediocrity that sustains us all!I recently presented myself to my Toastmasters club as ‘the Prince of Mediocrity,’ declaring that I am mediocre at more activities that anyone else I know.  My comments were partly in jest – one evaluator accused me of false modesty, and described my presentation as an example of ‘overstated understatement.’  And yet it is true – I have chosen the path of being just OK, or at best, ‘pretty good’ at a number of activities, and not truly excellent at any.

Mediocre is in contrast to the truly excellent – a level of achievement attained by great talent, combined with great effort. Malcolm Gladwell, in his book  Outliers and Geoff Colvin in his book Talent is Overrated, claim that 10,000 hours of focussed hard work and practice are necessary to achieve true excellence in any field.  We admire on television and on youtube those who perform at the highest levels in sports, movies, the arts.  In newspapers, magazines, and books we are inspired by the persistence, greatness of spirit, and the achievements of the great in politics, science and ideas, exploration, and even, everyday life.   We are not particularly interested in the modest achievements of those with common talent, or limited drive and persistence (though  the popularitiy of The Jersey Shore may argue this point.)  We are surrounded by mediocrity in our day-to-day lives, we might say.  It is uninspiring and uninteresting.  So what is there to praise about it?

Mediocrity is so very human.  All of us, even the great, are mediocre at much of what we do – whether it be cooking, automobile repair or maintenance, housekeeping, computer skills, even personal hygiene and diet.  And we have to accept that about ourselves, or be burdened with guilt and stress.   Though mediocrity is not the pinnacle of achievement,  it is not necessarily to be mocked, except perhaps in those who promise and claim excellence, and deliver much less.

Or when we are laughing at ourselves and our own mediocre efforts, talents,  and achievements – a healthy sense of humor and humility are essential to appreciating the mediocrity in our lives.

Those who will accept nothing less than excellence, for whom mediocrity is simply unacceptable, are often loath to enter into any activity at which they may not excel.  “If it’s worth doing at all,” they say,  “it’s worth doing well.”  But how many things can we truly do well?   My counter to that aphorism might be:  “Not everything that is worth doing, is worth doing well.”  Many over-achievers will not take up golf, fitness, music, art, kayaking, whatever, because they are afraid to be associated with the almost inevitable mediocre performance that comes with entry into any of these activities.  Accepting mediocrity opens the door to trying new activities.

I also pity those who spend their lives regretting excellence not achieved. Remember Terry Malloy, the former boxer played by Marlon Brando in On the Waterfront.  Who can forget his anguished cry, “I coulda been a contender”?  We all know people who have lived their whole lives disappointed at the excellence they never achieved, rather than enjoying what (mediocre) achievements they may have had, and what good fortune did come their way.  Accepting mediocrity helps us to accept ourselves, and appreciate our lives, even when we may not have been at our best.

Achieving true excellence demands sacrifice and can come at great cost.  Life, literature, and history are full of examples of heroes who attained a very high level of excellence - indeed ‘GREATNESS’ – in one field, while the rest of their lives were a shambles.  Think of Hemingway. Or Ernest Shackleton. Or Mickey Mantle.  Or perhaps Mike Tyson, Tiger Woods, or Charlie Sheen.  In Hollywood, great actors whose lives are NOT a mess seem to be an exception.   While we may praise their ‘excellence,’  it is with reservation and caveat.  A willingness to accept and even appreciate something less than excellence might open these heroes’ eyes to the value of the rest of life, outside their field of excellence.

And then there are those who sit on the sidelines and criticize, only respecting ‘excellence,’ while they ridicule those who may not be excelling.    We are reminded of Teddy Roosevelt’s “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.”

Those of us who have learned to accept mediocrity, can enjoy a mediocre round of golf, without it ruining our whole day. Or a mediocre workout, or even a mediocre performance in a competition.  We will take on a new challenge, even when we are unlikely to excel.  We have learned to laugh at and accept less than stellar performance, learn from it, and move on.  Again we return to Teddy Roosevelt “The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds.”

“Who strives valiantly…”  may be a clue.  Mediocre results are much easier to accept, and even praise, in those who have striven valiantly.  Maybe it’s because I’m well into middle age – but there are only a few things for which I’ll ‘strive valiantly’ – and I pick those battles carefully.  In the remainder of my endeavors, I may strive…but depending on how I feel and what’s at stake, often not valiantly.    Mediocre effort is NOT acceptable however, if one has promised a valiant effort, or committed to a specific result, or when the lives, and well-being of others are at stake.  Those cases demand a valiant effort, and anything less deserves our contempt.

We mediocritites (don’t bother to look it up) play an important role in this world:  It is we who help inspire and motivate others to doggedly pursue excellence.  It is we who make the truly excellent look good.  Without the rest of us, there would be no one against whom the great could be judged as ‘truly excellent.’  As Walter Stack, an old long distance runner of the 70’s once said, “My role here is to help the rest of you guys to look good.”

We mediocritites make the world go round, supporting, inspiring, and cheering on those who are truly excellent.  When the strivers say that we are not fulfilling our potential by setting our bar too low, we just laugh and go have another drink, and wish them well – and remind them that there isn’t a lot of room at the top – somebody has to hold up the bottom of the pyramid.

The reality is that, as we get older, everything we do seems to slide toward mediocrity – except hopefully, our attitude and our wisdom.  The happiest people in middle age and beyond have come to terms with mediocre performance as part of life – not to be lamented, but to give depth to those rare occasions when we do something truly exceptional. As a golfer, I enjoy watching the Champions Tour, watching former greats humbled, but with a smile on their face, as they roll with a bad round and congratulate whomever may be having a good, or even a great day. In fact I suppose that is one of the things I like about golf – if you can’t live with mediocrity, you have no business playing golf.

In praising mediocrity, we are enjoying the glass half-full – which is so much of what life offers us, rather than cursing that same half-empty glass.  If we can’t enjoy mediocrity, and laugh along with our own foibles and those of others, then there isn’t much joy to be had.  The truly excellent is, by its nature, rare and unusual.

We mediocritites are life’s decathletes…we play at a number of different activities, and though we may not excel at any of them, we enjoy playing.  We set our bar where WE want to set it, and cheer ourselves on when we get over our low bar.   Somehow I believe taking on a variety of activities creates a whole (person) who is more than the sum of his mediocre parts.  Our place “shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” We are in the arena, and to those who may mock us for not having striven valiantly or achieved excellence, I respond, ‘Living well is the best revenge.’

So, how’s that for a mediocre essay? 

Life-Balance – Is it over-rated?

I’m not sure, but life- balance may be over-rated.

Think about it. Who are the people who have achieved great things in life?  Did they have balance in their lives?  Do you get to be President of the United States by having balance in your life?  Do Bill Gates or Warren Buffet have balance in their lives?   Did Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Marie Curie, or Leonardo da Vinci have balance in their lives?  Or our military leaders – McArthur, Eisenhower, Patton, Nimitz, Halsey, or today Patreaus or McChrystal?   Do they talk about the balance in their lives?  No.  These are passionate and focused people.

Where does ‘balance’ fit in with Great Responsibility and Great Achievement?    Do we refuse responsibility for the lives of others, the responsibility for the security of the nation, or to bring great talent to bear to move humanity forward in order to maintain balance in our lives?  Do we abrogate great responsibility for life-balance?  Sounds somewhat selfish, doesn’t it?

“Well, you may have a point, but …”

It seems that the only people who talk about ‘life-balance’ are people who have already achieved what they were going to achieve in life. They are ready to slow down, rest on their laurels, and then we have to listen to them sanctimoniously preach to the rest of us how important it is to have life balance.  Are we to take them seriously? Sounds somewhat hypocritical doesn’t it?

“Well, yes but…”

Or we hear about ‘life-balance’ from people who have never really achieved anything of note, and chose ‘balance’ instead.  They may even use balance as an excuse for never having made a real difference.  They don’t acknowledge that their balanced lives were made possible by people who didn’t have balance in theirs. Sound somewhat short sighted, doesn’t it?

“Perhaps, but…”

Isn’t life really about passion, commitment, and enthusiasm?  People who achieve great things and move humanity forward do so by pursuing their passion with a single-minded focus.   Remember that memorable quote from the movie The Highlander, “I’d rather burn out than fade away.”  A  German Philosopher (Hegel) once said that ‘the great are seldom good,’ meaning that those who dare to be great follow a different set of rules than conventional society demands of the rest of us.   Balance works well for those who can’t stand the heat, who want to lope along in the outside lane, and cede the prize to those with the ambition, drive and energy to run hard on the inside.  Slow down to smell the roses, and you better move to the outside lane or you’ll get run over.  He who hesitates is lost.  Balance is the consolation prize for those who don’t have the gumption to reach for the golden ring….

“Come on now.  Aren’t we being a little harsh?”

Balance is boring.   Who wants to watch a movie about someone who has his or her life in balance?  Where is the story, the drama, excitement, passion, the thrills, the yucks?     Isn’t the impulse to balance the impulse to be well-balanced ‘sheep?’    Wouldn’t you rather be one of the sheepdogs, committed and  focused on protecting  the sheep,  or one of the wolves who go after our enemies and bring home the bacon?  Let the well-balanced sheep hide in their pens, and/or be led to the slaughter….balance is for prey and herbivores.   Choose instead to be a predator and a carnivore!

 Ok! OK! We get your point…and yet…something just doesn’t feel completely right about all this fist pumping, testosterone-driven posturing….

———————

The problem with the above pseudo-conversation is that one doesn’t choose between passion and balance.  The good life has both – and how much of each will be different for each of us, at different times, in different contexts.

Yes, balance may be stasis, and yes, there are many who will seek and stay in the safe harbor.  There are those who are afraid of the risk of putting one’s beliefs, one’s passions, oneself on the line.  It is true that those who drive and lead society are risk takers, heroic, passionate, and driven.  And we respect and admire them.  And perhaps we are them.  But is that all we want?  All the time?

Balance DOES have its place, even for the ambitious and the driven.    Imbalance  (stress) can be a source of creative tension, and provide us motivation and energy to rise to a challenge and perform at our best.  And when we feel that passion, or when we are fulfilling an important commitment, or serving a need for the greater good, passion, commitment, focus will certainly weigh more, and the fulcrum of the life-balance  scale will shift dramatically toward meeting that need.  There may be periods when the only weight on the other side of the scale may be sleep and infrequent, quiet periods with a friend or loved one. 

And then we need to recover – consolidate our gains, assess our wins and losses, heal, and gird our loins for whatever comes next.  For the heroic, and even for the more humble of us, I contend that life-balance is a temporary state that some of us are lucky enough to experience with some regularity in our lives.   But it is a temporary state, when all is in synch…an interlude between periods of challenge, commitment and focus….even for those who choose to run in the slow lane.   It is temporary….until the next challenge.

Marshall Goldsmith, one of the world’s most famous executive coaches, relates how many very successful CEO’s  he coaches struggle to find balance and meaning in their lives after having achieved all the prestige, power, and money they want.  It’s almost a caricature – overweight, high blood pressure, 2^nd, 3^rd,  or 4th marriage, tons of money, homes and yachts around the country, and now what? Another yacht?

A well balanced life needs passion, commitment, and focus, as well as periods of quiet joy, a meaningful avocation, and relaxed time with friends and loved ones.  The balance between passion and quiet or distracted relaxation is different for each of us, in different contexts and different times in our lives. Staying out of balance for too long has its price.

I see ‘life balance’ as an account into which we make deposits over a lifetime.  There are (slower) periods when we can deposit more, and crazy periods when we struggle just to keep our heads above water, and have little left to put into our ‘life balance account.’  We all know, and know of, people who have needed to draw on a life balance account, and found it empty.  It is sad to see.  Whatever we are able to deposit into our life-balance account accrues interest over a lifetime, providing dividends that we can draw on when we need them – especially when we get older and seek to balance the energy and passion of our youth with the perspective and wisdom of experience. 

And in the end, we all break even anyway.

The Single Measure of Merit: Profits and Grades

Be careful of the ‘single measure of merit.’  We have a tendency to seek simple criteria to judge whether something or someone is successful or not.  In business, it might be profit; in politics power; in school, grades and the GPA; in work, pay or promotion; in the military, killing the enemy; in sports winning.  Not that these are unimportant – but ‘success’ is more complicated than that, and other things may be more important.   Frequently these single measures are useful tools, but they can be deceptive – they are often means to other ends, which are usually more important.   If not pursued with wisdom, these intermediate goals – the means – can undermine the ends which they are meant to serve.

Now let’s talk about profits and grades.

In business, profits are clearly important, but they are not an unqualified good, and many argue that they are not the primary goal of business.  There are other criteria that must be considered in evaluating business success. Though profits are necessary, they are not a sufficient condition for judging business success. 

While businesses often measure their success at the end of the quarter in profits, students similarly often measure their success at the end of a semester by the grades assigned by their professors.  We know that the quarterly profit and the student’s grade tell us something, but they don’t tell us everything.  They may not even tell us the most important things.

Is the purpose of a business primarily to make a profit, and ideally, to make a very good profit? Or is it something else?  Are profits a means to another end?  Milton Friedman made the provocative statement that the purpose of a business is to make a profit.   Advocates of Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) respond that the purpose of a business is to create goods and services in a way that serves the needs of society, and to be well rewarded for doing so.  They claim that profits are a by- product of and reward for doing something else well.   

Is the purpose of taking a class to get a passing grade, and ideally to get a very good grade? Or is it something else?  For some students, some classes are merely a hurdle to get over to get something else -   a mere means to another end.  Most of us believe however that taking a class should serve a broader purpose – to better understand the subject matter, how the subject matter relates to the student’s broader life goals and other areas of interest.   In that case, taking the class and getting a passing grade are a means to a broader end. 

I think you may see where I’m going with this.  If the student focuses on learning, works hard, and becomes engaged with the subject matter, ideally s/he will get a good grade as a matter of course. But if the student comes to better understand the subject matter, learns how the subject is important in a broader context, but doesn’t get the grade s/he wanted, the student can still view the class as a success in meeting that broader goal.  That said, a poor or failing grade, which does not allow the student to progress, can become a serious liability to continuing one’s education and learning.  Students cannot ignore grades and still serve their broader goals.

Likewise in business, by providing a great service or product to one’s community and customers, most companies will indeed be profitable as a matter of course. But even if fantastic profits don’t ensue, the business that is meeting its broader goals can still be considered successful, as long as it meets its financial commitments.  But as with learning, if the business doesn’t take care of the ‘business of business,’ it can lose money and ultimately fail, no matter how good its product/services and support to stakeholders.

In both business and school, there are certain practical functions that have to competently managed in order to achieve desired profits or decent grades. In business, these include marketing, accounting, legal compliance requirements, and building and sustaining positive relationships with employees, customers, and the supply chain.  In academics, these practical functions include reading and research, writing, critical and disciplined thinking, time management, etc. In both fields, performing these practical skills poorly will lead to failure, no matter how much passion, integrity, service, and long term focus one has.

In business and in school, there are people with natural aptitude and talent – for getting good grades in school or making money in business.  It comes relatively easy for them. There are business people who can make money without passion or a quality product or service, or strong business processes. Some people just know how to play the business game well to make money.  And in school, there are students who are intelligent and efficient and have a natural gift for figuring out how to meet professors’ expectations without seriously engaging with the material or even learning much.

 And, there are others in business who work hard, with great passion, and provide great products and service, but just can’t seem to make a strong profit.   Likewise, there are students who are positively transformed by the class and the subject matter, but somehow struggle to put things together with all the fundamentals necessary to play the grade game well and come up with an A, no matter how hard they seem to work.  It isn’t fair.  Life isn’t fair.  There are some for whom things come easy, and there are others who always seem to struggle to keep their heads above water.

Just think of athletics.

But then think of character.

Under stress, the business person for whom profits are everything, will be sorely tempted to fudge the books, lie or tell half truths to customers, or otherwise violate ‘the rules’ of the game to achieve their primary objective – profits and the trappings of success.  Those who keep a broader primary goal in mind will see violating the rules to maximize profits a violation of trust with their customers, employees, supply chain and others.

Likewise under stress, the student for whom the grade is all important, will be sorely tempted to plagiarize or otherwise violate the rules of academic integrity to get that A, and maintain a high GPA.  Those focused on learning will take their lumps with lower grades if they are struggling or under stress, but they will stay focused on the learning itself.

The ideal in business is that the business with the best product and services, the best support to customers and supply chain, and respect for environmental impact will also be the most profitable. We know that is not always the case. Sometimes it’s because of inadequate attention to the business processes necessary to maximize efficiency and profitability.  Sometimes the market is not ready for their product/service; sometimes competitors may just have greater talent for business.  And sometimes the playing field is not level. And some people get away with lying and cheating. Life isn’t fair.

The ideal in school is that the student who is most engaged, puts in the most work and learns the most, gets the best grades. We know that is frequently not the case. Sometimes it’s because of inadequate attention to the mechanics of research, writing, engagement with the professor’s objectives, or a disconnect between what the student wants to focus on and the professor’s approach. Sometimes other students are simply more talented and intelligent.

But in business and in school, the Quality End we seek is not measured primarily in profits or grades.  Both profits and grades are necessary, but as means to other ends.  If the businessman and the student stay focused on the right goals, while still giving adequate attention to the means, in the long run, success will usually come their way, even if there are some short term failures.

Let’s return to the ‘single measure of merit.’  The message is: Be careful not to confuse means and ends.   You’ve heard the old saying: Be careful of what you want, you just might get it.  Knowing the right thing to want is very important.  Aristotle once said that the clever person knows how to get what he wants. The Wise person knows the right things to want.

Ideally, we want to be both wise and clever.  Given a choice, I’d rather be wise.

Professionalism and Passion

I recently read a novel entitled The Remains of the Day, by Kazuo Ishiguro about a man who looked back on key moments in his life as head butler to one of the great families of England. The Remains of the Day won the Booker Prize and I’ve seen it referred to in several books I’ve read on Leadership and Ethics. The story is this man’s life; the theme of the story is the tension between his single-minded focus on meeting the demands of his profession, and the cost of not acknowledging his very human needs, emotions, and passions.

Professionalism and passion in one’s work are both generally considered desirable traits. But as in most things, an excess of either can be an inhibitor to success at work, or stand in the way of a life well-lived. Professionalism and passion can be in tension with each other; in fact, ideally this tension should provide a balance – professionalism provides a curb on passion, and passion should provide energy to professionalism. We all have seen how an excess of passion can pervert otherwise good people and good intentions, and yield undesirable consequences. But an excess of professionalism? Is that possible? Yes, and that is the unusual message of The Remains of the Day.

In this book, the butler, Mr Stevens (I don’t think we ever learn his first name) is fully dedicated to developing himself into the ideal of his profession. The degree of his focus and dedication to becoming excellent in his profession is remarkable. Though we may not think of a butler as a ‘professional’ by current definitions of a ‘profession,’ in this man’s time – post-Victorian England – the reader is impressed by the rigorous standards and ideals of the butler in service to the gentry who were the leaders of society and guardians of the standards and values of British culture. As I read this novel however, being a butler is merely a metaphor for any demanding profession.

After reading the book, I understand how one reviewer commented that in some sense, ‘we are all butlers.’

Our narrator, the butler Stevens, is unremitting in his dedication to the standards of the ideal butler. Through hard work and discipline, he has become an example of perfect courtesy, gentility, and selfless service to the social order of the day. He accepts unquestioningly and lives fully in accordance with the values and orthodoxy of his times and culture. He takes the concept of ‘self-less service’ to his profession to its extreme conclusion. He never questions the values which he dedicates his life to preserving and embodying. He is not ‘his own man’ – his entire personal identity is in terms of the professional ideal to which he aspires. He has sublimated, and to a significant degree, sacrificed, his own humanity in his single-minded quest to live up to the ideal of his profession.

Stevens succeeds at becoming the nearly perfect butler, but evokes our pity as a human being.

One is reminded of the question asked in the Bible (Matthew 16:26) “For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world (ie, succeeds at his profession), and loses his own soul? “

Professions are by their very nature, conservative, enforcing professional and cultural standards that have evolved, sometimes over millennia. Within a profession, and for professional associations, professional excellence is the Holy Grail. But professional excellence can come at a high price, as we see in The Remains of the Day. Some of us are tempted to consider how much more ‘successful ‘ we might be in our professional lives, were we not encumbered by our humanity, our needs for love, companionship and other simple pleasures, or the demands of spouse, children, family. We could then fully dedicate ourselves to professional excellence and success.

In Stevens, the ideal butler, we are able to see what this might look like at the end of one’s life – how empty and hollow such professional excellence and success could be. As Stevens relates his life’s story, we see how his very human emotions and impulses emerged, came briefly to the surface, and with remarkable discipline and stoic will, he was able to suppress and bury them, in the interest of his professional ideal. He never allowed himself to succumb to, or even acknowledge, anything that might distract him from the perfectionism he sought in his professional life. It is a remarkable, but very sad story.

Note: The Remains of the Day was made into a movie in 1993 starring Anthony Hopkins (as Stevens) and Emma Thompson and was nominated for 8 academy awards.