Heroism – Its Entitlements and Responsibilities

This essay appears in the current edition of Naval Special Warfare’s Ethos magazine.  The essay was inspired by discussions I’ve had with colleagues about the challenges SEALs now face, being in the spotlight as the new American heroes and media darlings.  This can be pretty heady stuff with some new and unfamiliar challenges for young men who have been trained primarily for intense combat in remote regions.  The picture to the left is of Tommy Norris, a  SEAL Medal of Honor recipient from the Vietnam war.  Ethos magazine  is available to the public at http://www.public.navy.mil/nsw/Publications/Issue%2016%20final.pdf

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Heroism comes in many flavors, colors, and contexts, as does courage, from which it springs.  The ‘heroism’ I address in this short essay is the heroism borne of courage and exceptional performance in combat.

A friend recently shared with me that he had overheard a couple of SEAL combat veterans belittling other military members who had not ‘been there, done that’ in the war, implying that they were somehow not worthy.   My friend had the distinct sense that these young SEALS felt that as combat veterans and ‘war heroes,’ they had earned certain ‘entitlements.’  A decorated Vietnam veteran himself, my friend was disturbed by what he heard.

So I began to think about the ‘entitlements’ of heroism. While we can never condone arrogance or ‘hubris’ (excessive pride,) I can understand to a certain degree where these young men were coming from.  They came into the Teams with dreams of becoming war heroes, and after enduring a stringent selection process, years of hard training and sacrifice, followed by multiple deployments into god-forsaken places, and conducting operations in which they risked death or significant injury, it is certainly understandable that they believe they have earned certain entitlements.   And they have.

They have earned, and fully deserve, the respect, appreciation and admiration of the American people, who owe their American way of life to the willingness of men and women to go into harm’s way to protect it. And they have earned the pay, medical and other veteran’s entitlements that are within the contractual agreement that the American people have made to them through our nations laws. And they have earned the right to be proud of having served and sacrificed for a greater good, for their family, community, and nation.

But their entitlements do not extend beyond that. Arrogance is never justified, nor is a sense of superiority over others who may not have had the desire, courage, or opportunity to go into harm’s way in battle.   While the accomplishments of our community may have earned public admiration, we must never demand it. When it does come – as it has in abundance of late – we should accept it with humility and grace.

I’ve found that what real war heroes aspire to most, is not an entitlement, but something that must be earned every day – the respect and admiration of their fellow warriors.  We can’t fool our fellow warriors – they smell a phony in a heart-beat – and they give their admiration only grudgingly.  Whatever we may have done in the past, fellow warriors want to know what we’re doing today, for our shipmates, our team, our country.  Warriors hold each other accountable for continuing to serve, and serve well.  “<Wearing my trident> is a privilege I must earn every day.” (SEAL Ethos).

The public, on the other hand, can be easy to impress – at least in the short term.  The media eagerly gives celebrity status to anyone who happens to catch the public’s attention, for good or for ill, but today’s media darling is frequently tomorrow’s goat.  Like it or not, the media and the public have recently put the spotlinght on us, and want to make Naval Special Warriors into today’s celebrities – war heroes to look up to – and they want to make every guy who has gone through our training a steely-eyed war-hero, epitomizing all that is good in the American male.

This spotlight is uncomfortable, not only for security considerations, but also due to the increased scrutiny and accountability it brings.  “We as a community are not used to operating under such a spotlight,” RADM Pybus recently told the Armed Forces Communications Electronics Association- West conference. A few days later, Admiral William McRaven, told the National Defense Industrial Association  Special Operations Low Intensity Conflict convention that sometimes “the spotlight on us actually makes us better,” by making us more accountable.

This ‘spotlight’ holds us accountable for what I call ‘the responsibilities of heroism.’  These responsibilities are simple, but they are not easy.   Honor, courage, quiet professionalism, humility, and exemplary citizenship – essentially, the ideals outlined in the SEAL Ethos.  Once you become a hero, you are always held to account, and expectations are high.

It can be instructive to look at the character of our greatest war heroes.  You will rarely meet people more humble than those who have been awarded the Medal of Honor.  All with whom I’ve spoken are very humble when explaining why they did what they did, how they survived, how many of their friends they lost.  None will claim to be a hero – “I was just doing my job, and somehow was lucky,” they will nearly all say.  They know firsthand the ‘responsibilities of heroism,’ for having borne them for so long.  Army Sgt Sammy Davis, Medal of Honor recipient, speaking about soldiering and life, told me, ”Heroes are those who do their duty, for their brothers-in-arms and God and country first, and then take care of themselves second.”

Becoming a hero isn’t easy; but neither is living in the spotlight as American heroes. For more than 50 years, we have excelled as warriors;  now we must also excel as ‘heroes.’  The respect and admiration that comes with heroism brings with it more responsibilities than entitlements.  True heroes understand this.

In Praise of Mediocrity

Mediocre Marathon Runners

I use this title partly in jest.   ‘Mediocrity’ is, almost by definition, that which is not ‘praiseworthy.’  And yet in my comments that follow, I hope to point out that what appears to us as mediocre does not automatically warrant derision or embarrassment.  There is an important place for mediocrity in this world, and often there is much to be celebrated in the mediocre. And I’m proud of my contributions to that great sea of mediocrity that sustains us all!

I recently presented myself to my Toastmasters club as ‘the Prince of Mediocrity,’ declaring that I am mediocre at more activities that anyone else I know.  My comments were partly in jest – one evaluator accused me of false modesty, and described my presentation as an example of ‘overstated understatement.’  And yet it is true – I have chosen the path of being just OK, or at best, ‘pretty good’ at a number of activities, and not truly excellent at any.

Mediocre is in contrast to the truly excellent – a level of achievement attained by great talent, combined with great effort. Malcolm Gladwell, in his book  Outliers and Geoff Colvin in his book Talent is Overrated, claim that 10,000 hours of focussed hard work and practice are necessary to achieve true excellence in any field.  We admire on television and on youtube those who perform at the highest levels in sports, movies, the arts.  In newspapers, magazines, and books we are inspired by the persistence, greatness of spirit, and the achievements of the great in politics, science and ideas, exploration, and even, everyday life.   We are not particularly interested in the modest achievements of those with common talent, or limited drive and persistence (though  the populartiy of The Jersey Shore may argue this point.)  We are surrounded by mediocrity in our day-to-day lives, we might say.  It is uninspiring and uninteresting.  So what is there to praise about it?

Mediocrity is so very human.  All of us, even the great, are mediocre at much of what we do – whether it be cooking, automobile repair or maintenance, housekeeping, computer skills, even personal hygiene and diet.  And we have to accept that about ourselves, or be burdened with guilt and stress.   Though mediocrity is not the pinnacle of achievement,  it is not necessarily to be mocked, except perhaps in those who promise and claim excellence, and deliver much less.

Or when we are laughing at ourselves and our own mediocre efforts, talents,  and achievements – a healthy sense of humor and humilty are essential to appreciating the mediocrity in our lives.

Those who will accept nothing less than excellence, for whom mediocrity is simply unacceptable, are often loath to enter into any activity at which they may not excel.  “If it’s worth doing at all,” they say,  “it’s worth doing well.”  But how many things can we truly do well?   My counter to that aphorism might be:  “Not everything that is worth doing, is worth doing well.”  Many over-achievers will not take up golf, fitness, music, art, kayaking, whatever, because they are afraid to be associated with the almost inevitable mediocre performance that comes with entry into any of these activities.  Accepting mediocrity opens the door to trying new activities.

I also pity those who spend their lives regretting excellence not achieved. Remember Terry Malloy, the former boxer played by Marlon Brando in On the Waterfront.  Who can forget his anguished cry, “I coulda been a contender”?  We all know people who have lived their whole lives disappointed at the excellence they never achieved, rather than enjoying what (mediocre) achievements they may have had, and what good fortune did come their way.  Accepting mediocrity helps us to accept ourselves, and appreciate our lives, even when we may not have been at our best.

Achieving true excellence demands sacrifice and can come at great cost.  Life, literature, and history are full of examples of heroes who attained a very high level of excellence - indeed ‘GREATNESS’ – in one field, while the rest of their lives were a shambles.  Think of Hemingway. Or Ernest Shackleton. Or Mickey Mantle.  Or perhaps Mike Tyson, Tiger Woods, or Charlie Sheen.  In Hollywood, great actors whose lives are NOT a mess seem to be an exception.   While we may praise their ‘excellence,’  it is with reservation and caveat.  A willingness to accept and even appreciate something less than excellence might open these heroes’ eyes to the value of the rest of life, outside their field of excellence.

And then there are those who sit on the sidelines and criticize, only respecting ‘excellence,’ while they ridicule those who may not be excelling.    We are reminded of Teddy Roosevelt’s “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.”

Those of us who have learned to accept mediocrity, can enjoy a mediocre round of golf, without it ruining our whole day. Or a mediocre workout, or even a mediocre performance in a competition.  We will take on a new challenge, even when we are unlikely to excel.  We have learned to laugh at and accept less than stellar performance, learn from it, and move on.  Again we return to Teddy Roosevelt “The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds.”

“Who strives valiantly…”  may be a clue.  Mediocre results are much easier to accept, and even praise, in those who have striven valiantly.  Maybe it’s because I’m well into middle age – but there are only a few things for which I’ll ‘strive valiantly’ – and I pick those battles carefully.  In the remainder of my endeavors, I may strive…but depending on how I feel and what’s at stake, often not valiantly.    Mediocre effort is NOT acceptable however, if one has promised a valiant effort, or committed to a specific result, or when the lives, and well-being of others are at stake.  Those cases demand a valiant effort, and anything less deserves our contempt.

We mediocritites (don’t bother to look it up) play an important role in this world:  It is we who help inspire and motivate others to doggedly pursue excellence.  It is we who make the truly excellent look good.  Without the rest of us, there would be no one against whom the great could be judged as ‘truly excellent.’  As Walter Stack, an old long distance runner of the 70’s once said, “My role here is to help the rest of you guys to look good.”

We mediocritites make the world go round, supporting, inspiring, and cheering on those who are truly excellent.  When the strivers say that we are not fulfilling our potential by setting our bar too low, we just laugh and go have another drink, and wish them well – and remind them that there isn’t a lot of room at the top – somebody has to hold up the bottom of the pyramid.

The reality is that, as we get older, everything we do seems to slide toward mediocrity – except hopefully, our attitude and our wisdom.  The happiest people in middle age and beyond have come to terms with mediocre performance as part of life – not to be lamented, but to give depth to those rare occasions when we do something truly exceptional. As a golfer, I enjoy watching the Champions Tour, watching former greats humbled, but with a smile on their face, as they roll with a bad round and congratulate whomever may be having a good, or even a great day. In fact I suppose that is one of the things I like about golf – if you can’t live with mediocrity, you have no business playing golf.

In praising mediocrity, we are enjoying the glass half-full – which is so much of what life offers us, rather than cursing that same half-empty glass.  If we can’t enjoy mediocrity, and laugh along with our own foibles and those of others, then there isn’t much joy to be had.  The truly excellent is, by its nature, rare and unusual.

We mediocritites are life’s decathletes…we play at a number of different activities, and though we may not excel at any of them, we enjoy playing.  We set our bar where WE want to set it, and cheer ourselves on when we get over our low bar.   Somehow I believe taking on a variety of activities creates a whole (person) who is more than the sum of his mediocre parts.  Our place “shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” We are in the arena, and to those who may mock us for not having striven valiantly or achieved excellence, I respond, ‘Living well is the best revenge.’

So, how’s that for a mediocre essay? 

Act of Valor

I recently viewed the movie Act of Valor for the second time. I was invited by the Cinema Society of San Diego to view a pre-screening, and afterward, I and a few other SEAL veterans and an active duty Captain from Naval Special Warfare Command were asked to come forward and offer comments.  Since the movie is opening to the public this week, and is generating a lot of buzz in the media, I thought it would be an appropriate topic for this blog.

A little Background: This movie project was initiated a number of years ago when the Naval Special Warfare (NSW) community was under considerable pressure to increase its numbers to meet increasing commitments, and that meant amping up recruiting efforts. My guess is that they were trying to repeat the recruiting success that followed An Officer and a Gentleman and Top Gun for Naval aviation a generation ago.  The Bandito Brothers were selected to help create and film a recruiting film, and over time, the recruiting film turned into a feature length movie.   It is ironic that Act of Valor, starring active duty SEALs, is coming out at probably the historic peak of public awareness and admiration of Navy SEALs, in the wake of SEAL snipers recovering Captain Phillips of the Maersk Alabama from Somali Pirates, the successful raid against Osama bin Laden, the tragic helicopter crash, and the recent recovery of two hostages in Somalia. The release of  Act of Valor is preceded by a major publicity and marketing campaign, just as the Naval Special Warfare community is trying to lower its public profile and get back to focusing on their mission as ‘the Quiet Professionals.’

But the wheels for this movie began turning when recruiting was struggling, and all of these very public successes were still years into the future.    Though Act of Valor is being released  at an awkward time for the NSW community, the leadership seems to be graciously dealing with, yet again, more publicity.

Some things I liked about the movie:

-          I liked the introductory interview with the ‘Bandito Brothers’  who directed the film – “Mouse” McCoy and Scott Waugh.   The movie opens with them speaking for about 5 minutes about what was involved in making the movie, and they offer some candid and positive impressions of the SEALs with whom they worked.  Much of this introduction is on their website.

-          The character and capabilities of the men were pretty realistic – they were not portrayed as super-heroes, rather as very well trained ‘tactical athletes’ committed to each other, their families, and their mission.

-          The level of comfort and intimacy between the men reflects the best units in the SEAL Teams.  Not all SEAL units are that tight, but many are.

-          It showed the SEALs as family men, which most are, and fairly depicted the divided loyalty these men struggle with, between their family and their unit/mission. This the SEALs share with other deployable military units.

-          I liked how it portrayed our enemies.  The movie gave us a look at the face of the Evil and zealotry we are fighting, and hopefully makes it clear how important it is that we aggressively fight these people.

-          I thought the movie captured pretty well the intensity of close quarters combat.   Some of the shots give an excellent ‘you are there’ sense.

-          I was glad to see the boats given some of  their due. The Special Warfare Combatant-craft Crewmen (SWCCs) are truly awesome at what they do and they don’t get the recognition they deserve. I wish we’d seen more about the SWCCs in Act of Valor.

-          Ethnic diversity was well represented – though perhaps this platoon was more ethnically diverse than most.  Increasing racial diversity – for tactical, vice political reasons – is a key NSW recruiting objective.

-          Act of Valor is orders of magnitude better than Navy SEALs with Charlie Sheen,  or GI Jane with Demi Moore.

Some things I didn’t like about the movie:

The movie claims that, in using active duty SEALs, it provides a fairly accurate portrayal of SEAL missions and capabilities, and life in the Teams.  And it does.  The nits I pick with this movie are with inaccuracies or incomplete truths that can give a false or overly idealized impression of Navy SEALs, their capabilities and life in the Teams.   I do understand that compromises and certain liberties probably had to be taken, in the interest not only of operational security, but also to make a two hour film exciting, dramatic, and successful at the box office.    That said, below are some of the discrepancies between what I saw in the movie and my own experience as a Navy SEAL:

-          The tactical capabilities were somewhat over the top – on very short notice no SEAL platoon that I’ve ever seen can do ALL that this platoon did.

-          There was no indication of the intense staff support and oversight that would accompany each of these operations.   Because the SEAL platoon had center stage in the movie, the movie gave the false impression that a SEAL platoon is given a critical mission of strategic importance, then plans and executes it, with little oversight or staff support.

-          All the equipment and technology always worked. All the intel was always right.

-          In order to demonstrate a wide variety of capabilities within a dramatic story line, the movie condensed 4 or 5 epic missions into one deployment for one platoon.  The reality is that few if any SEAL deployments have included this much action and drama.  Much, but not all, that SEALs do is interesting and exciting, but not nearly as dramatic as this movie depicts.

-          The movie gave the impression that SEALs are nonchalant in the face of danger.  This doesn’t fit with my experience.  Cavalier joking standing on the ramp of a C-130 just prior to a night, equipment free fall into a real mission?  Cavalier joking after one SEAL nearly shoots his team mate while clearing a building of real bad-guys?   My experience is that when all the marbles are at stake, the boys have their game-face on, and there is focus, focus, focus, and little or no room for the distractions of humor.  Now afterwards, at the bar, that’s a different story.

-          Great personal and professional relationships between Platoon Officers and their Chief Petty Officers do happen, but the relationship between Lieutenant Rorke and Chief Dave in this film was truly idealized.   There is usually a healthy tension in the professional relationship between the Officer and his Chief, which is meant to resolve itself to the advantage of both the troops, and the mission.

-          My wife felt that the funeral scene at the end was indeed too personal.  She was quite uncomfortable with showing the public the intimacy of a funeral for one of our fallen comrades, especially since the funeral service in the movie represents that of Mike Monsoor, who was awarded the Medal of Honor posthumously for covering a grenade with his body to save his teammates.

Bottom line: Though Act of Valor presents an idealized depiction of an ideal SEAL platoon, it is worth seeing – but go in with your eyes open.     Though it does accurately depict the character of the men in the Navy SEALs and many of their more dramatic operational capabilities, there is some stretching of the truth to make a good story and get the public engaged.   It is not a docudrama; a more accurate, warts-and-all look at the Teams might satisfy guys like me, but probably would not have much chance at the box office.   The film does provide exciting and realistic action scenes, and stays within the general bounds of true NSW capabilities.  The Bandito Brothers deserve to make a lot of money from this movie (God-bless capitalism!),  and I hope that the public reaction is positive – in the form of increased appreciation for the sacrifices that these men and their families make to fight the evil that threatens us all.    I also hope that it results in more of the RIGHT kind of men going to their recruiters and saying:  “I want to join the Navy to be a Navy SWCC,” or “I want to join the Navy to be a Navy SEAL.”

A note on Operational Security considerations.  The tactics, techniques and procedures that are on display in this movie are routinely presented to the public during NSW capabilities demonstrations and in other open source material.  The movie didn’t show the best or the latest or the most sensitive of NSW capabilities.   The film was reviewed by a number of DoD experts to ensure nothing classified was revealed.  The men in this movie know that they and their families are now vulnerable to more publicity and scrutiny than they are used to.   The Navy, their team mates, their leadership and their friends in the community will be taking measures that hopefully protect them, until this blows over.

One final thing I liked about the movie was the quote from Tecumseh at its conclusion:

“Live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. And when your time comes to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way.  Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home.”

Quiet Professionals in Naval Special Warfare

I was asked by NSW Ethos magazine to write an essay on “Quiet Professionalism,” after a spate of books, interviews, articles and the like by SEALS, mostly retired, have appeared in the wake of the raid that killed Osama bin Laden.  SEALs are appearing on O’Reilley, Imus, in a new movie (Act of Valor,) and on, and on.   I am also a retired SEAL sharing his opinion about what is happening in the NSW community in the public forum.  I hope that this falls into the ‘helpful’ category.

For the uninitiated, SWCC is Special Warfare Combatant-craft Crewman – the specially and highly trained ‘Boat Guys’ who are also a key part of NSW.   The Ethos entire magazine is at: http://www.public.navy.mil/nsw/Publications/ETHOS%20ISSUE%2015.pdf  My essay in that issue follows:

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For years, Naval Special Warfare (NSW) leaders have sought to instill a low-profile, stay-under-the-radar, “quiet professional” ethos within the NSW community.  And yet, from time to time, SEALs and former SEALs have inadvertently or intentionally brought unwelcomed media coverage to the community, through impromptu interviews, emotional articles or controversial books. In response, NSW Leaders have had to expend political capital in damage control, to shore up the ‘brand,’ of Naval Special Warfare. “Quiet professionals” they say, stay out of the news, except to be acknowledged for their outstanding service.

Military leaders expect our operators – SEALs and SWCCs – to be highly capable and aggressive warriors in combat, and discrete, humble and ‘quiet professionals’ in garrison. The challenge is that most of the men we recruit for SEAL or SWCC training are young, gregarious, aggressive, Alpha males, eager to take on the world. When they finish training, they know they will be sent almost immediately to the far corners of the world, often directly into combat. These men are not by nature, ‘quiet professionals,’ yet most do mature into that role, and come to exemplify the SEAL Ethos: “The execution of my duties will be swift and violent when required…We train for war, and fight to win” and yet, “I do not advertise the nature of my work, nor seek recognition for my actions.”

They know that decisions regarding what the public knows about who we are and what we do, are made by those in positions of authority, up the chain of command, all the way to the President. This includes the authority to release classified and other information to the public, for reasons that those in the trenches may not always understand or agree with. This can, and often does, cause frustration. Occasionally, we’ll have active duty warriors go ‘off the reservation’ and voice opinions, frustrations or even classified information in the public or in bars, for which they are appropriately sanctioned.  Alcohol, it seems, is often associated with violations of the SEAL Ethos and the quiet professional demeanor it demands.  For the most part, however, our active duty force understands that compliance with the decisions of superiors is fundamental to good order and discipline in the military. They have come to understand that the confidence military leaders have in NSW depends not only on how well operators carry out their missions in combat, but also on their discipline and ‘quiet professionalism’ at home and in-garrison. Once again, our warriors are guided by the SEAL Ethos: “I serve with honor on and off the battlefield. The ability to control my emotions and my actions, regardless of circumstance, sets me apart from other men. Uncompromising integrity is my standard. My character and honor are steadfast.”

The issue of retirees and former warriors is a bit more complicated. These are men who generally served as “quiet professionals” while on active duty, but after leaving the service, may feel compelled to share their perspectives and stories in the public forum. Sometimes these perspectives are helpful, sometimes they are not. Short of egregious violations of security, the only sanction the NSW community has against former warriors bringing inappropriate or negative attention to NSW, is against that individual’s personal reputation and status, which ‘the tribe’ always holds as collateral.

I do believe we need former SEALs and SWCCs to contribute to our national conversation by sharing stories and perspectives from their time in service, to help our citizens better understand the NSW community, which exists to serve them. Many of our former warriors have honorably and constructively contributed to the general understanding of who we are and what we do. Some have not been quite so honorable in their contribution. What might distinguish the honorable from the less than honorable?

In determining whether a book, article, interview or other public pronouncement adds to or diminishes the credibility, reputation, and honor of the individual and our community, I suggest three criteria:

1. Is it fair and honest, and does it constructively contribute to the public understanding of NSW? Or does it primarily promote self-interest or a personal agenda?

2. Is the warrior exhibiting ‘a strong dose of humility,’ to include respect toward those with whom he might disagree?

3. Does the perspective or story serve the interests of those still in the arena, or does it make their lives and work more difficult, more complicated, or even more dangerous?

‘Quiet professionals’ in Naval Special Warfare need not always be ‘quiet’ – there are times when it is important and appropriate to tell our story. I don’t believe that the real issue is being ‘quiet,’ but rather having the maturity to be humble and the good judgment to be discrete. Anyone “going public” should be careful of their motives, not hurt those still in the arena, and avoid publicly airing personal agendas. When in doubt, former warriors are well-advised to review what they plan to share with a leader still serving, to get a perspective on how the active-duty community will react and whether their intentions meet the above criteria.

How each of us presents ourselves to the public reflects our personal and professional honor, and reflects on all of us. None of us wants to be ‘voted off the island’ for an emotional or ill-considered sharing of privileged information that comes from being a trusted member of our exclusive ‘tribe.’

In Transition

Chinese Danger: Risk+Opportunity

I am in transition.  I am voluntarily leaving a good job, to move on to something else – I’m not sure what.   I’ve been the Director of the Master of Science in Global Leadership program at the Universtiy of San Diego for six years.  I’ve had fun, and I believe I’ve served this position well.  It is time however, to move on – this  isn’t what I want to do for the rest of my life.  Now, I’m ‘in transition’ to whatever lies ahead.

Yes, there are practical considerations.  Mary Anne and I have prepared for this step by arranging our finances and our life style to give us some flexibility for a while (without great sacrifice, I might add – we live pretty simply.)  Rather than frantically searching for my next job and my new identity, I am able to take time to think, reflect, and reassess, consider options, and even enjoy this nether-world state of being ‘in transition.’  

Who am I, and what do I want to do?  These are important questions most of us don’t spend much time considering.  We are busy taking care of the multitude of responsibilities and obligations we have to our work, family, friends, and community.  I now have time, and the need to think through – ‘what next?’

In America, more so than in many other cultures, we ARE what we DO, and our social identity is very much tied to our title and our profession.    Right now, I can say   ‘I used to be somebody’ – I used to be a Captain in the Navy, I used to be a Navy SEAL, I used to be the Director of MSGL at USD, I used to be a lot of things.  Now I’m ‘in transition’ – a euphemism for ‘unemployed,’ or maybe ‘retired.’  I am NOT retired, I insist.  I am ‘in transition.’ 

I’m finding that being ‘in transition’ can be interesting and exciting. 

As I consciously embrace being ‘in transition,’ I begin to appreciate its advantages.  The world becomes more interesting.  I see opportunities and possibilities where before I wasn’t looking.  I consider what is most important to me – what do I ‘need’ and what ‘feels’ right, versus what would be nice to have.  I am refreshing my network and renewing old friendships.  It’s enjoyable to be reaching out and reconnecting with friends, old and new, as well as with acquaintances, who could become friends.     And inevitably I’ll say, “…and if you hear of anything that you think might be a good fit for me, I’m available, but not desperate.”   No one wants to have coffee with someone who is ‘desperate.’

I’m beginning to think that perhaps we are always ‘in transition.’  We and the world around us are always changing, and we are constantly creating ourselves anew, from who we used to be, to who we are now, to who we will be in the future.   We are  in a perpetual state of ‘becoming.’  Getting married, having children, moving, losing a loved one, or leaving a job are merely dramatic reminders that our lives are not static, that our circumstances and the world around us are always changing.   How we respond to events, everything we think, say, and do, and all of our decisions, create the world we will live in tomorrow.    Some call this our ‘karma.’   For most of us, our ‘karma’ is not part of our everyday consciousness and awareness.  Transition however, is all about ‘karma.’ 

I’m realizing that what I’ve done and how I’ve lived in the past, will determine my opportunities in the future.  Things I’ve done well, with heart and commitment, things I have done to serve other people, or in support of causes I’ve believed in passionately, open doors for me.     I also realize that things I did NOT do well, sincerely, or with passion, or relationships I did not nurture, have left doors closed that might otherwise be open to me.   I’m ‘in transition’ to a future that will be determined by what I put my heart into in the past, what I did well, and with passion.

What I have learned is this:  Whether we realize it or not, we are always preparing ourselves (well or poorly) for what lies ahead.   We are essentially always ‘in transition’ to what we will be doing tomorrow.  I believe however, that our future is determined not by WHAT we do, so much as by HOW we do what we do.   Do we act with joy, respect, passion, and enthusiasm?   Or do we live, and work selfishly, apathetically, resentfully, cynically?   How we do what we do creates the karma that determines our future.

Being ‘in transition’ is a creative process.  I am reinventing myself – creating someone new out of who I ‘used to be.’  I’m enjoying having some flexibility and time to reflect, reassess and branch out into new areas.  I am excited about the future.  There will be some bumps in the road, but I’m confident that something good is going to happen – I just don’t know yet what. Stay tuned.

And whether you realize it or not, dear reader,  you too are ‘in transition.’

The Costs of War

I submitted the below essay to Naval Special Warfare’s ’Ethos’ magazine to be published this month.  I wrote this as a member of the Naval Special Warfare community.

In every generation, there are a few major events which divide our experience into “our lives before, and our lives after.”   The attack on America on September 11, 2001, ten years ago this month, was certainly one of those events.   It was THE defining event for America in the last decades, and it served as a clarion call to America’s Special Operations Forces.  America was under attack.  A small group of terrorists were out to attack Americans, American interests, and America’s friends around the world. This gave our Special Operations Forces focus and purpose; America needed us.  We had been preparing for this for decades.

Since then, we have fought hard, and we have fought well.  We have made a difference, in ways that the American public will only read about in future years, when the reports are declassified and the historians can tell us what really happened.   Recently the public got a glimpse of how good we are, when ‘our boys’ got the big prize of Osama bin Laden, and for a while, we basked in the unfamiliar but warm glow of positive publicity as America’s new heroes.  But the cost of being central to America’s efforts in this war has been high….and it remains high.   The Naval Special Warfare community has lost 69 brothers to enemy action and training accidents since September 11, 2001, which includes SEALs, SWCCs, Techs.  And many, many others have been seriously wounded.

Just as America looks at its recent history in terms of before and after 9-11, the families and loved ones of servicemen and women killed during this conflict divide their lives into a different ‘before and after’  – before the death of their loved one, and after.  And those many who are seriously wounded have their own ‘before and after.’  In June 2005, we could barely imagine the tragedy of losing 11 of our brothers during Operation Redwing.  Now six years later, we have lost double that number in a single incident.   And so once again, the horror and tragedy of war becomes all too real to us.   “Eleven,” or “twenty-two” or “sixty-nine” –  those are big numbers to our small community, but each one of those killed was an individual, a human being, a member of the Naval Special Warfare family, with his own life, dreams, family, hopes and aspirations.   A Naval Special Warfare wife who knew some of those killed in the recent tragedy in August, and who knows many of their families well, recently wrote in a public forum,

 “They were great, brave men, but do not forget that they were men…these extraordinary men loved, hurt, and laughed with the rest of us…. The images that their loved ones will remember …will not be those of them fast roping out of a helo. Rather, the images that will bring both joy and agony in their minds are those of a gentle smile, a goofy laugh, a knowing look… These were Americans hoping what we all hope; that their families will be able to live the best life possible; that opportunity would abound.”

The whole country mourns the loss of these warriors.  We in the Teams mourn the loss of our brothers – men so much like ourselves, men who we knew personally, or if not, men with whom we would have felt right at home.   We struggle to understand the pain of this loss to their families and closest friends.  The heaviest burden of this war has been borne by the families of the service members killed and wounded.  It is a constant, drip, drip, drip of names of good men, our brothers, killed or wounded, with the occasional mega-tragedy, like the one that hit us in August.  It impacts all of us, some certainly more than others.

And yet, men are still volunteering in great numbers.  The costs have been high, the risks remain high, but the Teams are full of men ready and eager to go into the fray, and to train hard and intensely to be ready when called.   Outside the Teams, we have multitudes of men doing all they can to get into our community, so that they too can have the opportunity to train hard to be ready to go with us into combat.   There is something we are doing right that remains extremely attractive to America’s toughest, smartest, most versatile, most resilient warriors.  Tragedy hurts, but it can also bring us together, solidify our sense of purpose, help us to find strength and spiritual resolve, when we know we must carry on and overcome.

As we try to come to terms with the loss of twenty-two of our own, we celebrate how they lived, and what they did.  We celebrate their lives, the way we want our survivors to celebrate our own lives when we pass – to celebrate what have done, and not focus on what we have left undone.  All of us will leave this world with work undone; it is reassuring to know that our families and loved ones at home, and our teammates and the next generation of warriors at work, will pick up where we leave off, and carry on.

I had prepared a different essay for Ethos, about how Naval Special Warfare had changed and evolved since 2001.  A few days before I submitted it, we learned of the tragedy in Afghanistan. That other essay will have to wait for another time.  The loss of these fine men brought home to all of us the costs and sacrifices that our warriors and families have borne since 9-11 – and this recent painful loss is a stern reminder of the horror and tragedy of war.  War is indeed about killing and dying – but it is also about heroism, patriotism, determination, brotherhood, and sacrifice.  We must not forget to celebrate who these men were, and in so doing, celebrate who we are.

“And then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!’ “Isaiah 6:8-10.8

 

Life-Balance – Is it over-rated?

I’m not sure, but life- balance may be over-rated.

Think about it. Who are the people who have achieved great things in life?  Did they have balance in their lives?  Do you get to be President of the United States by having balance in your life?  Do Bill Gates or Warren Buffet have balance in their lives?   Did Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Marie Curie, or Leonardo da Vinci have balance in their lives?  Or our military leaders – McArthur, Eisenhower, Patton, Nimitz, Halsey, or today Patreaus or McChrystal?   Do they talk about the balance in their lives?  No.  These are passionate and focused people.

Where does ‘balance’ fit in with Great Responsibility and Great Achievement?    Do we refuse responsibility for the lives of others, the responsibility for the security of the nation, or to bring great talent to bear to move humanity forward in order to maintain balance in our lives?  Do we abrogate great responsibility for life-balance?  Sounds somewhat selfish, doesn’t it?

“Well, you may have a point, but …”

It seems that the only people who talk about ‘life-balance’ are people who have already achieved what they were going to achieve in life. They are ready to slow down, rest on their laurels, and then we have to listen to them sanctimoniously preach to the rest of us how important it is to have life balance.  Are we to take them seriously? Sounds somewhat hypocritical doesn’t it?

“Well, yes but…”

Or we hear about ‘life-balance’ from people who have never really achieved anything of note, and chose ‘balance’ instead.  They may even use balance as an excuse for never having made a real difference.  They don’t acknowledge that their balanced lives were made possible by people who didn’t have balance in theirs. Sound somewhat short sighted, doesn’t it?

“Perhaps, but…”

Isn’t life really about passion, commitment, and enthusiasm?  People who achieve great things and move humanity forward do so by pursuing their passion with a single-minded focus.   Remember that memorable quote from the movie The Highlander, “I’d rather burn out than fade away.”  A  German Philosopher (Hegel) once said that ‘the great are seldom good,’ meaning that those who dare to be great follow a different set of rules than conventional society demands of the rest of us.   Balance works well for those who can’t stand the heat, who want to lope along in the outside lane, and cede the prize to those with the ambition, drive and energy to run hard on the inside.  Slow down to smell the roses, and you better move to the outside lane or you’ll get run over.  He who hesitates is lost.  Balance is the consolation prize for those who don’t have the gumption to reach for the golden ring….

“Come on now.  Aren’t we being a little harsh?”

Balance is boring.   Who wants to watch a movie about someone who has his or her life in balance?  Where is the story, the drama, excitement, passion, the thrills, the yucks?     Isn’t the impulse to balance the impulse to be well-balanced ‘sheep?’    Wouldn’t you rather be one of the sheepdogs, committed and  focused on protecting  the sheep,  or one of the wolves who go after our enemies and bring home the bacon?  Let the well-balanced sheep hide in their pens, and/or be led to the slaughter….balance is for prey and herbivores.   Choose instead to be a predator and a carnivore!

 Ok! OK! We get your point…and yet…something just doesn’t feel completely right about all this fist pumping, testosterone-driven posturing….

———————

The problem with the above pseudo-conversation is that one doesn’t choose between passion and balance.  The good life has both – and how much of each will be different for each of us, at different times, in different contexts.

Yes, balance may be stasis, and yes, there are many who will seek and stay in the safe harbor.  There are those who are afraid of the risk of putting one’s beliefs, one’s passions, oneself on the line.  It is true that those who drive and lead society are risk takers, heroic, passionate, and driven.  And we respect and admire them.  And perhaps we are them.  But is that all we want?  All the time?

Balance DOES have its place, even for the ambitious and the driven.    Imbalance  (stress) can be a source of creative tension, and provide us motivation and energy to rise to a challenge and perform at our best.  And when we feel that passion, or when we are fulfilling an important commitment, or serving a need for the greater good, passion, commitment, focus will certainly weigh more, and the fulcrum of the life-balance  scale will shift dramatically toward meeting that need.  There may be periods when the only weight on the other side of the scale may be sleep and infrequent, quiet periods with a friend or loved one. 

And then we need to recover – consolidate our gains, assess our wins and losses, heal, and gird our loins for whatever comes next.  For the heroic, and even for the more humble of us, I contend that life-balance is a temporary state that some of us are lucky enough to experience with some regularity in our lives.   But it is a temporary state, when all is in synch…an interlude between periods of challenge, commitment and focus….even for those who choose to run in the slow lane.   It is temporary….until the next challenge.

Marshall Goldsmith, one of the world’s most famous executive coaches, relates how many very successful CEO’s  he coaches struggle to find balance and meaning in their lives after having achieved all the prestige, power, and money they want.  It’s almost a caricature – overweight, high blood pressure, 2^nd, 3^rd,  or 4th marriage, tons of money, homes and yachts around the country, and now what? Another yacht?

A well balanced life needs passion, commitment, and focus, as well as periods of quiet joy, a meaningful avocation, and relaxed time with friends and loved ones.  The balance between passion and quiet or distracted relaxation is different for each of us, in different contexts and different times in our lives. Staying out of balance for too long has its price.

I see ‘life balance’ as an account into which we make deposits over a lifetime.  There are (slower) periods when we can deposit more, and crazy periods when we struggle just to keep our heads above water, and have little left to put into our ‘life balance account.’  We all know, and know of, people who have needed to draw on a life balance account, and found it empty.  It is sad to see.  Whatever we are able to deposit into our life-balance account accrues interest over a lifetime, providing dividends that we can draw on when we need them – especially when we get older and seek to balance the energy and passion of our youth with the perspective and wisdom of experience. 

And in the end, we all break even anyway.

Resilience

“Resilience” is a new buzzword I’m seeing these days in a many different contexts.   We need to develop “systems resilience” to deal with potential cyber attacks.  We need more “resilient communities” to prepare for tragedy and the unexpected.  The government is creating programs to help develop “family resilience” to better cope with the stresses of military life. And the military seeks to develop “resilient soldiers,” less susceptible to traumatic stress disorder, better prepared to positively respond to stress and change. 

Resilience is clearly a good thing. So what exactly is it, and how do we get some?

Like many things, resilience is both simple and complex.  In essence, it seems to come down to an ability to cope, and to respond well to adversity and stress.  The opposite of resilient  might be ‘fragile,’ ‘rigid,’ ‘delicate,’ or even ‘sensitive.’   Persistence is usually, but not always, associated with resilience.

When we talk about people being resilient, we really have to define the context, since resilience manifests itself differently in different contexts.   Different contexts may demand physical, mental, emotional, intellectual, spiritual or other types of resilience – or some of each –  to respond to different types of adversity.    Being resilient in one context does not assume resilience in another.  We’ve all seen people who may be mentally and physically very resilient in combat or high-stress environments (physical/mental resilience), but who emotionally over-react or are unbending with their families and friends (emotional/social resilience).   My graduate students are very successful in their personal and professional lives, but sometimes have views of the world that are quite rigid.  Graduate school seeks to develop ‘intellectual resilience’ by forcing students out of comfortable mental models, to try on different viewpoints and different ways of thinking.

So how does one become more ‘resilient?’

Aristotle said that if you want to become courageous, you need to do things that require courage.  He would say the same thing about resilience.  One must be willing to get out of one’s comfort-zone, and stretch one’s ability to adapt to a different environment, if one wants to develop greater resilience under stress or adversity.  In other words, one must subject oneself to the stress of not being comfortable.  In today’s culture, there is a temptation to find a comfortable niche, settle into a ‘comfort-zone’ and fight never to leave it.   We commit to career, marriage, family, community, mortgage – what one young friend of mine called  ‘the whole catastrophe.’    We seek stability, predictability, and… we get comfortable.

To stay nimble and resilient, we must occassionally force ourselves into endeavors and environments where we are not in complete control – and force ourselves to adapt.  We must be willing to at least consider, and accept with some equanimity,  the possibility that the things we count on can be taken away – our job, our money, lifestyle, health, friends, loved ones, our title and our reputation.   And we must be willing to ask ourselves that ‘existential’ question:  What is left, and who are we without those things?

To step out of our comfort-zone, we risk failure. Only by trying and failing, and trying again, do we develop the resilience to deal with things happening in a way that does not suit us.  Without learning to deal with failure, there can be no resilience.  Not getting what we want means to suffer, and, as the Greeks believed, wisdom only comes through suffering. 

In dealing with difficulties and discomfort, we frequently use something called ‘self talk’ as a psychological tool to help ourselves deal with  difficult circumstances.  Self-talk has been shown to actually change the way we think, behave, and perceive our environment. “I can do this.”  “This too shall pass.”  “This is my opportunity.” “This is God’s will (or this is my fate).  I must deal with this as best I can.” “I am strong.”   ”I am confident.”  Prayer is a form of self talk.  A wise person once warned against asking God to give us the result we want, recommending instead that we pray for the strength (resilience) to deal with what He gives us.

My old friend Master Chief Will Guild suggested two essentials to resilience:  a sense of humor and love.  A sense of humor gets us outside of ourselves and our own ego-driven self absorption.  It can deflate the pressures of fear, anger, panic and resentment.  Love likewise gets us outside of the immediacy of our personal anxiety– loving others, in spite of their failings, and loving ourselves, in spite of our failings. Indeed, Aristotle saw self-love, or ‘proper pride’ as a fundamental virtue.   Maintaining our self-respect and personal sense of dignity, when all is going wrong, is essential to a resilient response to challenge and adversity.  Without self respect and ‘proper pride,’ collapse in the face of adversity is predictable.

SEAL training is very much about developing physical and mental resilience to respond to adversity in battle or special operations.  SEAL basic training creates a somewhat artificial adversity in a controlled training environment that serves as a crucible to develop the resilience needed to respond well to the real fear and adversity of combat.  Master Chief Guild used to teach SEAL trainees four key techniques for developing the resilience necessary to succeed at their baic training, and by extension, in combat. These are variations on what sports psychologists teach to professional athletes to help them perform their best under stress and pressure.

First, maintain a positive attitude – believe in yourself, keep your sense of humor, and use self talk to stay positive. 

Second, learn positive visualization. Visualize and believe in your own success, whatever that looks like. Positive visualization prepares us mentally for the challenge at hand, and for what it feels like to succeed. 

Third, practice segmentation.  Break the challenge you are facing into bite-size goals -– this event, this day. Set simple, achievable, short term goals. Don’t look beyond getting through the challenge of the moment, the event, or the day.

Fourth, learn arousal control.  Learn techniques to calm yourself when fear, panic and anxiety seem ready to overwhelm you.  These techniques include meditation, deep breathing, heart-rate management.  And again, self talk.

The best literature I’ve read on resilience is from the Roman Stoics and from Viktor Frankl in his classic short book, Man’s Search for Meaning.  Vadm Stockdale wrote extensively about how Stoicism helped him survive seven years as a prisoner of war in North Vietnam.  Stoicism divides the world into two spheres – things we can control, and things we can’t.  The Stoic believes that we develop psychic resilience (and serenity) by learning to accept fate’s dictates, assuming full responsibility for our actions and attitudes, and developing the “wisdom to know the difference” between what we have to accept and what we can affect.  Viktor Frankl’s book is about the resilience that comes from having a purpose for living – a goal for one’s life.  This greater sense of purpose provides the strength and motivation to overcome life’s challenges.  Man’s Search for Meaning is about how Frankl found meaning in his suffering in a German concentration camp, and how his belief in his own life’s purpose was key to his survival.  Both Stockdale and Frankl would argue that a strong will to adapt, survive, and prevail is essential.

In conclusion, there is much that can be said and written about resilience.   It is key to success and survival in dynamic, stressful, and rapidly changing environments.  As with leadership and character, resilience seems to be at least partly innate – some people are naturally more resilient and adaptable than others, and some people seem to be born with a stronger will to succeed.  But as with character and leadership, resilience and strength of will can be improved through experience, training and education.   We can intentionally develop more flexible mental models, a broader perspective, and we can learn to imagine things as different than they are.     It can help a lot to have a resilient and inspiring teacher, leader, or mentor who believes in us. 

It is useful to remember that Charles Darwin’s theory of natural selection put a very high premium on resilience.

The Hero’s Journey

Odysseus

I’m one of a several people who are called upon to deliver a Code of the Warrior presentation at Returning Warrior Workshops (RWW)  offered to Navy and Marine Reservists returning from extended deployments in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom or Operation Enduring  Freedom (in Afghanistan).  Returning service members are invited to bring a guest- that individual who was instrumental in supporting them while they were deployed – usually a spouse, significant other, or family member.  These two day workshops are normally held at a very nice hotel in some pretty nice places (Waikiki Beach, Sedona, Arizona, Palm Springs, to name a few of the places I’ve been) and their purpose is to facilitate the reintegration process upon returning from a long deployment forward.  I’ll get to why this is an important issue for the military.

My presentation, which helps kick off the weekend, is entitled ‘Code of the Warrior.’    It was initially intended to reinforce that military service is an ancient and honorable profession, and what makes it honorable is that we do not fight and kill indiscriminately, or for personal reasons.   Military service deals death and destruction according to ancient rules which stress restraint and greater purpose.  While the presentation I give does make this point, I don’t spend a lot of time on it.  I focus more on framing their service and their deployment within what Joseph Campbell, the famous mythologist of the 20^th century, referred to as ‘The Hero’s Journey,’  a pattern which he found in every culture around the world, and which he argued is fundamental to how all cultures identify their heroes.

The script for Campbell’s Hero’s Journey goes something like this:  An individual either chooses to or is forced to leave a relatively safe, comfortable and predictable environment.  Our ‘hero’ then enters an unpredictable, risky, dangerous environment or situation.   The hero’s journey involves struggle and risk, resolve and persistence.  The journey reinforces old values, and provides the foundation for new ones – with new perspective and new wisdom.  The hero then returns home transformed by the experience, and faces new struggles to reintegrate into the world left behind. The hero’s journey is not complete until the hero has returned and added new strength and wisdom to the world left behind. The hero must give back to his or her community. 

What makes the hero’s journey heroic is confronting and overcoming fears, frustrations, and self-doubts and using the strength acquired in that process, to subsequently improve his or her community.    The alternative to heroism during this ‘journey’ is to choose retreat, comfort and safety over risk and progress, to place blame, shun responsibility, and to become a victim.  Nearly always, the heroic journey involves failure and pain, and demands that the hero persist and find the strength to survive and prevail. In so doing, our hero is ‘transformed’ – becomes stronger, smarter, wiser, more resilient, and also humbled by the failures that the journey entailed.   Then the transformed hero returns to transform the world to which s/he returns. 

This final piece – the struggle to reintegrate, and to positively impact the world to which the hero returns – that is the focus of my remarks to the Returning Warriors Workshop.

I begin my presentation with the story of Odysseus’ struggle to find his way home after the Trojan War.  Most have heard of ‘The Odyssey’ but many are unfamiliar with Odysseus’s story.  I then share how Joseph Campbell found Odysseus’ story to represent the basic structure of how all cultures identify their heroes.   I offer examples -  Christ, when he went into the desert for 40 days and 40 nights and confronted the Devil;  Viktor Frankl, who was pulled out of his Psycho-therapy practice in Vienna into the German concentration camps (and wrote Man’s Search for Meaning about his experiences);  Vadm James Stockdale who was shot down over North Vietnam, and spent over seven years putting his Stoic values to the test in a contest of wills with his captors; Pat Tillman, who left a lucrative career with the NFL to join the Army Rangers, and Chris McCandless of Into the Wild fame, who embarked on his own self-styled hero’s journey.   These last two never came back from their heroes’ journeys, reinforcing the point that the hero’s journey involves risk.  

These are dramatic and inspiring examples of heroes’ journeys.  But ‘the hero’s journey’ is available to each of us – if we choose to take it.   The point that I make in the Returning Warriors Workshop is that those who have volunteered to serve in the military, especially in a time of war, have chosen their own hero’s journey. They have chosen to leave the comfort and security of the known, the predictable, the comfortable, to enter the demanding and uncertain world of the military in time of war.   By the time I meet them at a Returning Warrior’s Workshop, they have been overseas, served in whatever capacity was required of them, been somehow transformed by the experience, and have returned home. Now they are in the final (and key) stages of their hero’s journey -  reintegrating with those they left at home, and finding ways to use their new strength, wisdom, and insight to make the world they left behind better.  Much of the story of Odysseus is about his struggle to re-integrate into his world, and to reconnect to his wife Penelope, and his son, Telemachus.

For returning warriors, this reintegration process can be very difficult.   This point has been repeatedly made in popular films:  The Best Years of Our Lives was a powerful story of WW2 vets coming home and struggling to find their place in society.  The Deer Hunter addresses that same struggle for veterans of the Vietnam War, The Hurt Locker for veterans in the current conflict.   

When one is engaged in a ‘hero’s journey,’ life is not easy, but it can be relatively simple.    The tasks and threats are frequently straightforward and relatively clear. The mind is focused.  There are friends and there are enemies.  The senses adapt and tune in quickly to the dangers.   Soldiers have well practiced procedures and drills to prepare for contingencies.  Threats, fear and necessity tie us to our fellows, and we learn quickly who we can trust, and who we cannot.  Survival and mission accomplishment grab and hold our attention.   

At home, life is more complicated.  The variables and distractions are many.   Relationships with spouse, friends and loved ones are complex, and society’s rules are malleable and often unwritten.  At home, the threats are amorphous, subtle and often difficult to recognize.  It is more difficult to focus our energy and our will.  We are often stymied and frustrated by unseen forces.

If upon returning home, our heroes are unable to reconnect with and contribute to their community, their journey is incomplete, tensions are unresolved and the potential for good remains unfulfilled.

 The Returning Warrior Workshop provides an opportunity for returning service members to focus on that often neglected piece of their journey.  For those finding the return and reintegration particularly difficult, additional resources and professional help are available.   Tools are provided to facilitate communication with friends and loved ones, and help with the process of finding closure.  Making a positive impact on the home front is the final step in making the hero’s journey truly heroic.

And then the cycle begins again. Heroes do not long rest on their laurels.  The next journey calls.

Ethos or Mythos?

 The Seal community is justifiably proud of its Ethos.    It describes high ideals and provides a beacon of values to guide Seals through the challenges of these difficult times.  I fear however, that some Seals may not be getting regular exposure to the Seal Ethos , and without that regular exposure, some Seals may instead be falling under the influence of  the more seductive ‘Seal Mythos’ – the myth and the legends that the public has come to believe about who Seals are, what they do, and what they stand for.    

The Seal Ethos describes a quiet professional with impeccable integrity, who is physically and mentally tough, compassionate, proud of his heritage, his training, and his team- mates, a gifted and talented leader, humbly ready to risk all for the benefit of his team, his service, and his country.

The Seal Mythos however, speaks more of bravado than quiet professionalism, more in-your-face, than humble servant of our country.   The Seal Mythos portrays Seals as amazing fighters, experts in the full range of commando skills, incredibly strong and fit, who love the fighting, violence and killing of war, can kill you in a nanosecond with their bare hands (and not think twice about it).   When these highly trained and efficient killers are unleashed against the enemy, there just isn’t enough Kryptonite to stop them.       

Those of us who are, or have been, inside the culture of the Seal Teams, chuckle at this fantastic portrayal of the superhero of the Seal Mythos – because our insider knowledge knows the truth.   But we also recognize that the Seal Mythos has been an important recruiting tool and strong motivator to help young men get through BUD/S training and into the Seal teams.   BUD/S instructors continue to motivate trainees with that vision of their future selves as superhero commandos , who can (metaphorically) leap tall buildings in a single bound. 

But what about the Seal Ethos? It depicts a very different character – one who doesn’t need or concern himself with the adulation of an adoring public.  The Seal Ethos describes someone who dedicates himself to the dictates of profession, family and community.  “A common man, with uncommon desire to succeed….always ready to defend those who are unable to defend themselves….who doesn’t advertise the nature of <his> work, nor seek recognition for <his> actions,” who must earn his privilege to serve every day.   While the Seal Mythos is about the Seal as superhero, the Seal Ethos is about the Seal as humble servant to his profession, his teammates, community and nation.    

This is not a new issue.  We can go back nearly 3000 years and look at Homer’s  Illiad to see the warrior of the Seal Ethos in Hector, a great warrior, but also a great citizen, husband, father, and son – an honorable man who fought because he had to for his city and his community. We see the warrior of the Seal Mythos in Achilles, half man and half god (a true ‘super-hero’), a great fighter, but a selfish and ego-driven prima-donna who fought primarily for personal glory.

 I believe there is a moral development process in becoming the Seal described in the Seal Ethos.   While the trainee and young Seal may be attracted to the ideal in the Seal Mythos, the more mature Seal aspires to live up to the ideal in the Seal Ethos.  We eventually realize that we are not, nor ever will be, superheroes.  Most of us who choose to stick around the community as our ‘life’s work,’ become more humble with time, and are dismissive of the Seal Mythos.  We are most proud of the aspirational qualities included in the Seal Ethos.

Psychologists all know that for ideas and ideals to take root, they need to be repeated – again and again.  The Marine Corps knows this.  In the book Built to Last, the authors point out that in the best corporations, the values of the organization are repeated in every speech, in every public declaration by all the leaders of the organization.  However in most organizations, vision statements and aspirational ideals are normally framed and placed in a lobby or nice conference room, and are rarely discussed, consulted, or reinforced .  Is this happening to the Seal Ethos?

I’m told by young Seals, that after they graduate from training and report to the Teams, they rarely hear the Seal Ethos again, apart from vague references to it – like to the Declaration of Independence. I believe Seals need to have the values of the Seal Ethos explicitly and repeatedly reinforced.  I challenge our leaders to use the Seal Ethos to its full potential to balance the powerful ‘siren song’ of the Seal Mythos.  

A challenge to Seal Leaders: An hour with a Platoon, Task Unit, or Team, to examine the nuances, the implications, and responsibility inherent in the Seal Ethos will communicate to your men what you value and stand for.  Specific values in the Seal Ethos should be repeatedly referenced in remarks to troops, families, and others.  Finally, I challenge every Seal, starting in BUD/S, to memorize the Seal Ethos.

One final point:  Our values and ethos are not what we say, or teach in a class, or write in a document.  Our real values and ethos are reflected in what we do, how we live, what we reward, how we treat each other and how we treat people outside of our immediate circle of family, friends, and culture.